How to Find Meaning[edit]

I'm Jimmy Hawkins. Retired firefighter, thirty-two years on the job.

I lost my son Marcus seven years ago. Seventeen years old, car accident. Nothing prepares you for that. Nothing. The grief—it doesn't go away. It changes shape, but it's always there.

After Marcus died, I fell apart. Everyone expected me to be strong. I'm a firefighter, right? We save people. But I couldn't save my own kid, and I couldn't save myself either. Took me years to find my way back.

What brought me through wasn't answers. It was questions. The big ones: What makes life worth living? How do you keep going when everything that mattered is gone? Where do you find meaning when meaning has burned to ash?

This wiki is where I work through those questions. Not because I've figured it all out—I haven't. But because asking them, honestly, is the only way I know to keep moving forward.

Where to Start[edit]

If you're in the dark right now:

When Nothing Makes Sense — Because sometimes it doesn't.
Grief And Meaning — They're tangled up together.
The Hardest Questions — The ones we're afraid to ask.

If you're searching:

What Makes Life Worth Living — Different answers for different people.
Finding Purpose After Loss — It's possible. Slowly.
Small Moments That Matter — Sometimes meaning hides in the ordinary.

If you want to understand:

Why We Need Meaning — It's more than philosophy.
When Purpose Changes — Because it does, over time.
Legacy And Memory — What we leave behind.

If you're ready to rebuild:

Creating New Meaning — After the old meaning is gone.
Living With Unanswered Questions — Because some never get answered.
The Long Road Back — One step at a time.

A Note on This Wiki[edit]

I started writing because a grief counselor suggested it. Didn't think it would help. Didn't think anything would. But putting words on paper made the chaos in my head a little more bearable.

What I've learned is that meaning isn't something you find once and keep forever. It's something you rebuild, again and again, from whatever pieces you have left. Some days it's solid. Some days it's not.

I'm not here to tell you what life means. I'm here to sit with the questions alongside you. Maybe we'll find some answers together. Maybe we won't. Either way, we won't be alone in the asking.

Explore[edit]

Index — All articles on this wiki
Sister_Wikis — Our family of wikis

— Jimmy Hawkins, asking the hard questions